Reverend Jennifer Nordstrom

This material comes from the Soul Matters program of the UUA. At Third, we created two types of  groups: Lithe groups that meet for an hour each month; and Deep groups that meet for two hours each month. Both types of groups follow the format below:

 

1. Opening: Chalice Lighting and Centering Words.  The Facilitator offer opening words from a favorite poet/writer or by using a small section of the readings that were assigned for that month.  Some leaders offer meditative words or a prayer.  There are lots of ways to do this. Each group finds what fits them best.

2. Brief Check-In:  Members briefly share what is going on in their lives.  The goal is to get beyond chit-chat and do more than “catch up.”  The technique that is most often used is to ask members to briefly share “how it is with your spirit” by commenting on one thing that is “pulling at or draining your spirit” and one thing that is “feeding, filling or lifting up your spirit.”  Each member usually takes only a couple minutes to share.  This part of the meeting typically it takes no more 20 minutes for the Deep groups, no more than 10 minutes for the Lithe group.

3. Discussion of the Spiritual Exercise: Discussions start with members sharing their experience of doing the spiritual exercise.  Common questions that facilitators ask are: “What was it like for you to attempt the exercise?”  “Did it lead to any unexpected feelings or insights?”  “Did it go as you expected?”  “How did it challenge, change or deepen your understanding of this month’s theme?”   This is where the group works hard to practice deep listening.  To start, there is no back and forth conversation.   Instead group members focus on listening and providing each other with the formative space to hear themselves think or, as Parker Palmer puts it, to let our shy soul speak. It is only after everyone has had a chance to share that the facilitator opens the floor and invites members into a time of reflective conversation. This is when members speak from their own experience, and comment on the connections they saw between each other’s stories and experiences.  A common question at this point is: “How did listening to everyone else help you see or learn something new about your own story?”  This is absolutely not a time to offer advice or argue about who’s right.  We follow the guidelines of “no fixing, no saving, no advising, no setting each other straight!” 

4. Discussion of the “Questions To Wrestle With”: We don’t treat these questions like “homework.”  We do not engage every single one.  Instead, participants look them over a couple weeks ahead of time and find the one that “hooks” them most.  Then they let that question take them “on a ride.”  They live with it for a while and allow it to regularly break into--and break open--their ordinary thoughts.  And thennthey come to the Soul Matters meeting prepared to share that journey with their group.

5. Check-Out:  Meetings end by each member briefly sharing a statement of gratitude.  Facilitators ask participants to think about what they’ve experienced together and then lift up one comment or experience for which they are particularly grateful.

6. Closing: Groups end by extinguishing the chalice and sharing a closing reading or offering closing words.